Dispelling the Myth

Hi, my name is Clint Hastings. I’m an attorney here in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I focus on father’s rights and you can find me here on Dads.Law. Today I want to talk to you about a myth that is out there. I’ve heard it a lot throughout the years. People are asking me, can my 14-year-old child pick who they want to live with? And it’s always 14. I hear this number 14 repeatedly.

The answer is no. That is not true. That’s not the law in Oklahoma. What is the law in Oklahoma is that a child who can form what’s called an intelligent preference of what they want to happen as far as visitation and custody may be considered by a judge in deciding the issues.

Understanding Intelligent Preference

So what is an intelligent preference? Again, it’s articulated for some reasonable reason they want to live with dad. This might be, I don’t feel I know my dad enough. I want to know him more. This might be I want to spend more time with my dad. This might be, you know, I’m closer to friends and other family at my dad’s but saying dad has better video games is not going to work.

Secondly, what is that age? What age are we talking about? Well, it’s not a specific age under the law. However, there is a presumption that a 12-year-old may be able to form an intelligent preference. That’s where the number comes in and that the number is 12. In other words, there is an assumption that a 12-year-old’s preference can be intelligent.

Guidance for Parents

But still, if the 12-year-old gets in there and tells the judge something that is not along those lines, then the preference of the child is not going to be considered. Now, let me advise you. Never coach your child on what to say to a judge. What will happen is if you want your child to speak with the judge, you can make that request through your attorney, through the court.

The judge can decide whether to do that and the judge will meet with that child in chambers, meaning in the judge’s office and conduct an interview with your child. Now, that meeting at the request of a party can be taken down by a court stenographer and a record is made of it. However, you will not get to see that record unless, for some reason, your case gets appealed to the appellate court on the custody issue.

Seek Expert Legal Advice

So, the main thing to learn from this is don’t just think there’s an age where your child will get to pick and don’t coach your child on any of those issues. It will be apparent by the judge’s questioning. Judges know how to question the children. They will pick up on any type of coaching that may have taken place. So, do not do that. I hope that helps. You can reach out if you have questions or want more information to Dads.Law and we can get back to you from there.

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For personalized legal guidance on father’s rights and custody issues, contact Clint Hastings at Dads.Law. Don’t navigate the legal complexities alone. Let us help you protect your rights and your family’s future.