Oklahoma Law Has a Negative Attitude Towards Unwed Fathers
Video Transcribed: My name is Brian L. Jackson, and I’m an Oklahoma Father’s Rights attorney with Dads.Law, we protect fathers’ rights in Oklahoma, and I want to talk to you about what I mean when I use the phrase dads are not disposable.
I think there is not a lot of question that when courts and when society looks at women and mothers, mothers are seen as essential in a child’s life and they tend to be pretty revered.
Because of that, it’s really difficult to persuade courts that a mother should have access to her child, or the child should have his or her access to the mother restricted because mothers are seen as essential. And it’s sort of one of those things that everybody takes for granted, it’s sort of goes without saying kind of thing.
Sadly, the same cannot be said about fathers. I mean, Oklahoma law actually takes this attitude when it comes to unwed fathers, you don’t even have the right to see or talk to your child until you’ve established rights.
And we’ve talked about this in the past, you actually have to go to court and file a paternity action and get a paternity decree to get the right to have a relationship with your child. No mother ever has to do that, but fathers do.
And there’s a tendency of courts to see the father as the payer, not the caregiver. So when I say fathers are not disposable, what I’m talking about is this idea that yes, I agree the mother is essential but we should be looking at the father as equally essential.
And that essentialness, there shouldn’t be a distinction, fathers should be seen as just as essential as mothers and should be able to be in the child’s life because the child deserves to have that both parents and have a positive relationship with both parents.
Neither parents should be disposable, but I don’t believe that it’s necessary to reiterate the fact that mothers are disposable because I think everybody accepts that, whereas, on the other hand, that’s not necessarily always the view with fathers.
It’s much more acceptable in many people’s eyes for the father to be cut out of the picture in order to pay child support than it is to do the same to a mother.
But the fact of the matter is in either case it is devastating to a child to lose that relationship or not to have that relationship. I mean, some children are so unfortunate that they never get to know their fathers and as they grow up and become more aware of this, that’s hurtful.
Yes, there’s a time and a place where if the parent is unfit if the parent is a problem, a serious problem where it might be better for the child despite that hurt that that individual is not an active part of that child’s life.
And we can talk all day long about situations like domestic violence, substance abuse, criminal behaviors, and those are typically the responses you get when you assert the idea that dads are not disposable. But that’s not most guys any more than it’s mostly women.
Yeah, there are women that do those things too, but we seem to forget that. But that’s often the human cry that’s raised when you talk about dads are a vital part of the child’s life is you hear well what about abusers? What about drugs? What about criminal behavior?
Yeah, there are guys that do that and those guys in those cases should be dealt with appropriately, and the court should absolutely consider those factors in those specific cases.
But there are an awful lot of dads who don’t do those things, who do their best to do the right thing and are still viewed suspiciously and still have an uphill battle to have that right to see their child.
And that’s what I mean when I talk about dads are not disposable is that I’m here to make sure that children with fit fathers get to have a relationship with their fit fathers.
That’s what dads.law is about, that’s what I’m about because I really believe it, fathers are not disposable and shouldn’t be viewed that way, you can give me a call, my name is Brian L. Jackson and I’m a Tulsa father’s rights attorney, if you are looking for a Divorce Attorney for Men, visit dads.law.