Get to the Doctor Immediately

Video Transcribed: I am a Tulsa Men’s Divorce Lawyer. And today, guys, I like to talk to you about kind of a delicate situation, what you should do if your child suffers an injury while they’re in your care, either visitation or your parenting time.

First and foremost, obviously, treat it. If you’re talking about anything more serious than a minor bump or bruise, I would say, get to the doctor immediately. Don’t screw around. Either go to urgent care or if it’s a bad injury, go to the ER. And don’t let money be an obstacle to that.

Taking the kid to the doctor immediately, obviously, you want to get them the appropriate treatment, but from a legal standpoint, if you were to be accused of something later, and I know this is a fear a lot of guys live with because they have crazy exes. And the fear is that she’s going to accuse you of abusing the child if the child shows up at her house with a bruise or scrape. So, if you want to head that off, one thing you can start with is to get them medical care right away and make sure it’s appropriate.

And if it’s anything more than a minor scrape or bruise, probably a trip to the doctor or a trip to urgent care is appropriate. Even if they think you’re being overly cautious because it’s going to be hard for her to convince a judge that you hit your kid or did something inappropriate if you immediately went to the doctor afterward.

The other thing I’m going to tell you guys to do, and you’re not going to like this advice but it’s the best advice under the circumstances, tell her. And tell her honestly. I mean the kid was being stupid and screwing around you need to tell her that.

If you turned your back for one second and, okay, that’s not the best mistake to make, but tell her because it’s going to look a lot less bad if you were honest about it upfront than if you try to hide it. I would recommend in dealing with mom, you can make a record of it.

In other words, either do it in writing like through a text message or an email or record the call and yes, you can do it. You are legally allowed to do that in Oklahoma. We were a one-party consent state, so as long as you know, you’re recording, you’re fine.

If you are dealing with a particularly sticky situation, you might also, if you have a lawyer, notify your lawyer. I can’t emphasize enough though how important it is, tell mom. I know you’re not going to want to do that and especially if she’s being an asshole or if she is an asshole. But here’s the thing, legal issues notwithstanding it’s a respect thing.

I mean, I would assume, guys, that if the shoe is on the other foot and the child got hurt while the child was in her care, you’d want to know about it because this is your child. Well, if you want her to notify you, you need to practice what you expect of her and notify her, even if you know she’s going to flip her shit and be a bitch about it, you should still do that. It’s the best practice. And that’s a good way to avoid problems.

If you do find yourself in a problem coming out of that too if you seek medical care and you make a point of notifying her quickly if she tries to file something you have a better defense built up that this was not your fault. This was an accident.

And that you didn’t try to hide anything, you didn’t keep anything from her and the child wasn’t harmed. And the last part of that too is to make sure, sure that you are consistent with any follow-up care that’s recommended. If there are medicines keep track of them. If they need a bandage changed, keep track of that, whatever. Do your follow-up.

And if you do those things it doesn’t guarantee it won’t be a problem, but it does make it less likely. And it does make it easier, if there is a problem, for somebody like me to come in and say, “No, this is crap, judge.

This is bullshit,” because I can then show the judge that you took all reasonable steps as an attentive parent. And if you do find yourself in a situation like that where, despite your best efforts, you need legal assistance, then you should go to dads.law where dads are not disposable. If you are looking for a divorce attorney for men, go to dads.law.