Courtroom Proceedings Are Formal
Video Transcribed: My name is Brian L. Jackson. I’m a father’s rights attorney in Tulsa with Dads.Law, where fathers are not disposable. You could actually be really hurting your case in family court and not even realize it, guys. And today I’d like to talk to you a little bit about some of those little things that that guys do from time to time that can really hurt.
The first thing I’m going to talk about is proper attire. When you go to court, you really need to consider that as a business transaction. And I’m going to use that term a couple of times, but essentially what that means is in terms of selecting clothing, you should dress like you’re going to a professional interview, wear a suit, wear a tie. Obviously, don’t wear a tie that’s something like a novelty tie. So yes, you want to dress appropriately.
Definitely avoid wearing real casual clothes, and definitely avoid things like shorts, T-shirts, certainly anything with an inappropriate logo or something on it because it reflects negatively on you. It appears to an outsider as though you’re not taking the proceeding seriously, and you should. If you’re in family court, it’s because you’re there about either your assets or your children, or like a child support order, any of those things. It’s important to look like you take it seriously.
Another mistake I see a lot of guys making, walking into court, cologne. And this is an important thing. Don’t bathe in cologne before you go to court. As a lawyer, I generally follow a pretty strict rule of I don’t wear cologne to go to court. I typically will just wear deodorant. I don’t wear cologne.
And the reason is you don’t necessarily want to smell like anything, coming into court. You really don’t want to smell like you’ve bathed in it, because the likely conclusion that’s going to be reached from doing that is either you’re trying to cover up the smell of alcohol, you’re trying to cover up the smell of weed, or you’re trying to cover up the fact that you didn’t bother to take a shower that day. And in any of those situations, it can create a negative inference by the judge about you.
And here’s another thing. Tastes in fragrances are very subjective, as I’m sure you guys are aware of, and that fragrance you like or that your girlfriend likes, the judge may not like it. And if you carry a heavy fragrance on your body that the judge finds unpleasant, again, it can create the wrong impression. Lastly, some people are allergic to certain fragrances, and the last thing you want is for the judge to be sitting there sneezing because of the scent coming off your body. So avoid the cologne.
Another mistake I see people making from time to time, talking out of turn. Courtroom proceedings are very formal. Even informal courtroom proceedings are formal. It’s not a classroom. This isn’t a time to sit there and treat it like it’s some kind of a, I guess, like a meeting. It’s not a meeting. Courtroom proceedings are formal. There are specific procedural rules that have to be followed, and judges get annoyed real quick when you’re not following the rules. So things like trying to pipe up a comment because, for example, you don’t like what the witness is saying, or they’re being untruthful or anything, hurt you.
It annoys the judge, and you may potentially volunteer information that you don’t want to be volunteering that can open a can of worms. And also since courtroom proceedings are on the record, anything you say in there is going to be preserved as part of your case forever. So the best advice is if you’re in there represented by counsel, which you should be, shut it. If you are representing yourself, shut it until you’re asked. It doesn’t help to pipe up comments.
Getting overly emotional is another mistake people make. And this is a kind of a really cautious, it’s a very touchy subject. Obviously, these matters are deeply personal. If your custody and visitation with your children are at stake, it’s deeply personal. I understand that. And obviously, if you’re watching this video, it’s because you have a relationship with your kids, and you care about your kids, and you don’t want to lose your kids.
So it is deeply personal, I understand that, and these are high-stakes proceedings. But this is not a time to allow the judge to see you get angry. This is not a time to lose control of your composure because the thing to understand, and this goes for all the other points I raised before, the judge probably doesn’t know you. They don’t know you from Adam, and they’re going to be making decisions about you, at least in part, on impressions.
Yes, there’s evidence that’s presented, there’s the testimony, there are exhibits, et cetera. But it’s also important to understand that a lot of communication amongst human beings, and this includes in court, because really when you’re putting a case on in front of a judge, you’re communicating with that judge, you’re trying to tell them a certain set of facts and law that are designed to persuade that judge that your position is right, and the other side’s position is not right. So it’s very important to understand that a good chunk of communication between human beings is non-verbal. It’s body language.
/It’s your facial expressions, whether or not you’re making eye contact, whether or not you’re reflecting certain emotions. And what you should understand is the judge may interpret your emotions differently than what you’re actually feeling. If you look angry in court, that could be interpreted as being defensive, for example. So it’s very important to control your emotions.
Also, and here’s another thing to be aware of, when you’re emotional, you’re not thinking clearly, and you may impulsively say something you shouldn’t, you may volunteer information you shouldn’t, and that can really bite you in the backside. So the long and short of it is control your emotions, keep your head clear.
My name’s Brian Jackson. We’ve been talking a little bit about the issue of stuff that guys sometimes do in court that can hurt your case. I’m going to be coming back to you soon with some other things that are probably not good things to be doing in court that can hurt your case real soon. But in the meantime, if you need help, if you have questions about this topic or any other topic related to your rights as a father, you should go to Dads.Law, where dads are not disposable.
