Do Not Get Dragged Into The Mud

Video Transcribed: So, let’s talk about how you can expedite your custody case in family court. My name is Brian L. Jackson. I am a Tulsa father’s rights attorney here with dads.law where fathers are not disposable. I want to talk to you about steps you can take to expedite your custody case. This is a complaint I hear a lot is that it takes too long to get through court. It’s taking forever, and nothing’s getting done, et cetera.

Some factors determine the length of your court case: you can’t control law, and we attorneys can’t handle either. For example, we don’t own the court’s calendar and don’t control what the other side does, although we can influence it. Those are things sometimes that can lead to unforeseen delays. However, some things that you can do that help move the case forward because they are things that can sometimes also cause completely avoidable delays.

First of all, understand that you will need to provide financials. That is your taxes, check stubs, bank statements, and other proof of income. So when you get started on any kind of custody matter, that’s always an issue, so have it ready. Another thing, if your attorney serves with written discovery, when they give it to you, ensure you get answers back as quickly as possible. This is another thing that can delay a case if you get bogged down in discovery.

Also, another thing that you should try your best to avoid is complicating matters by allowing yourself to get dragged down into the mud with the other side. What I mean by that is if the other side is acting like an ass, it doesn’t mean you have to act like an ass.

I’ve talked about this in previous videos, but being the adult in the room is very important because if you’re not, what ends up happening is you get a bunch of side motions getting filed, and those have to get handled; anything from emergencies to POs to contempt. All of those things are a problem.

Speaking of contempt, another thing you should be doing, which will save you time, money, and effort, is if you’re ordered to pay child support, make sure you pay child support and make sure you don’t owe money.

Because otherwise, what’s going to happen is you’re going to wind up bogged down in contempt proceedings. If you’re not ordered to pay child support, you should still pay something towards your child’s help anyway.

The reason is that that helps your case. It helps avoid the issue of arrearages, helps you look like you’re not there about money, you’re there about, “I want to be in my child’s life,” and it avoids you being ordered to pay a large arrearage later if you are requested to pay child support. So for both of those reasons, it’s beneficial to go ahead and pay. It may not feel good but do it.

Lastly, I think that something else to keep in mind that can help move cases along is being realistic in expectations. That is specific to your lawsuit. So I’m not going to get into what’s realistic versus unrealistic, but just as a hypothetical, if you’re talking about older kids.

They are saying they don’t want to live in your household; then you’re going to be fighting an uphill battle, in many cases, if you try to go for full custody, unless there are other facts in play that make that a more realistic option. So to some extent, being realistic in your expectations is also essential.

Lastly, it is essential to understand what family court is for and what it is not for. Family court is there for dealing with, in the case of child custody, figuring out what’s in the child’s best interest and how we can keep both parents in the picture.

It’s not there to punish one parent or the other, and it’s certainly not there to excise a parent from the children’s lives. If you’ve ever been to the Planned Parenting Conference, Judge Keele gives an excellent speech about that, and it’s worth listening to.

Family courts are not there to terminate rights. So if you think that that’s what you’re going to do, or if the other side thinks that’s what’s going to happen, they’re going to be sorely mistaken. I would advise that the more you can be organized and ready to go with your documents early on, the primary thing that leads to disruption and delay is being collected and prepared to go with your written discovery responses.

I know it feels nosy. It feels intrusive. I get it. But those are two big things that I can tell you right out of the shoot always lead to delays when people don’t do them in a timely fashion. It can increase your cost, and it’s not worth it.

Now guys, if you are dealing with a custody case or looking down the barrel of having to deal with a custody case, you need a good lawyer. If you need a Men’s Child Custody Lawyer in Tulsa, Ok, you can find one at dads.law.