So one example that I think is a big one that you need to be aware of is dealing … not being able to work in a professional manner with the ex. If you and she repeatedly are exchanging insults or disrespectful talk or whatever, that could eventually be predicated into an argument that joint custody isn’t working, because y’all can’t work together. So be aware of that. Be mindful of how you interact with her. So that’s the first thing.

Another thing connected with that is making unilateral decisions without her input. If you do stuff unilaterally on a habitual basis and don’t consult with the other parent, that is going to eventually catch up to you, and it can very well cost you custody. That, by the way, includes relocating without … in violation of the relocation statutes and rules without the permission of the court and without the consent of the other party. So this is something to be aware of.

Some other things, neglecting small things with children. It may not be something that would be able to be predicated into an emergency, but that doesn’t mean a court won’t consider it in the best interest analysis. So, for example, if you let the kids get away with not doing their homework, if you let them stay up late inappropriately, if they’re not dressed in clean clothes all the time, if the clothes don’t fit properly, stupid little things like that can be predicated, forgetting to give them medications, can be predicated into you’re not acting in their best interest. So you got to be on your toes about stuff like that, and if they need … something needs taking care of, you need to take care of it. Don’t think, “Oh. Well, she does the same thing, so that makes it okay for me to do it.” No. The court will consider each of you in a vacuum from the other, and just because one parent’s doing it doesn’t mean that the other parent is automatically getting a free pass. So just keep that in mind.

Substance abuse, I think speaks for itself. Significant others, this is one that you need to be careful about. I’m not saying don’t date and don’t move on with your life, but significant others frequently complicate things. If your significant other is considered a problem for any particular reason, like, for example, a criminal record, mental health issues, or just because they’re overly intrusive into the parent-child relationship between mom and the children, those are all things that could potentially cause you to lose custody. So do yourself a favor. Have that conversation with the new girlfriend, the new wife, before it turns into a problem.

Then, another one is not exercising visitation when it’s scheduled. If you blow off your visits on a habitual basis, then you could find yourself getting your time reduced. So if you’re scheduled to do a visit, unless you really can’t do it, and it better be a good reason, keeps your visits. Allowing your relationship to deteriorate with the child to is another one that leads to problems, and that’s kind of connected with not keeping visits and commitments to the child. You need to do your very best to work on and maintain your relationship with your child and don’t make any mistakes. It is work, and sometimes, it’s going to mean doing things you don’t like. But you need to do them.

If you have questions about any of those things or you need help with a situation where you’re facing a Motion to Modify, I would encourage speak with an Oklahoma child custody attorney at Dads.Law, where fathers are not disposable.