Preparing for the Unexpected: Flexibility in Custody Arrangements

Hi, my name’s Clint Hastings. I’m an Tulsa Fathers Rights Attorney, and I focus on father’s rights. Today I’m going to talk to you about a question I get a lot, and that’s what do I do if I have a special event or occasion that I have planned for my child, but it’s not my visitation time, and mom won’t agree to let me do it? So she refuses to turn over the child for it because it’s her visitation.

This could be birthday parties, it could be sporting events, it could be concerts, it could be trips. The best thing to do, of course, is plan well in advance and try to work this out with mother. If need be, Tulsa child custody attorneys can get involved and try to work it out. We’ll talk about some other options, though.

What Are My Options If Mom Won’t Agree to Let Me Take My Child?

First of all, if it’s not your visitation time, it doesn’t really matter that you have a special event, it would still technically be a violation of the court orders. Now, the options for mother, if you, let’s say you have the child and then the event was like the next day, so you don’t return the child when you were supposed to and you go to the event, what could mom do?

Well, they could bring a motion for contempt against you, they could do a motion to enforce visitation orders, and these are where they’re asking the judge to reprimand you or get you in trouble, and if they win those motions, then you also may have to pay their attorney’s fees for having to bring those motions. So often it ends up on a, you know, kind of a slap on the wrist if it’s just one instance.

Consider Getting a Parenting Coordinator to Help Resolve Disputes

However, you’re also creating a negative situation for your future times you want to do that because now she’s really upset about it. Same time, she’s kind of shooting herself in the foot because eventually it’s gonna be that she was gonna be on the other foot and she’s gonna be the one wanting the time for an event or something. Well, another thing to do is to get a parenting coordinator in your case, that’s a third party attorney that you both pay to and you meet with them and they help you communicate with each other and solve some of these little disputes that pop up during, and inevitably they pop up during a divorce and after.

They can do things such as guide a conversation as to, hey, let’s get it on paper that you’re agreeing for dad to do this this time and he’s agreeing now to let you do it when it comes up on your side. Things of that nature, if you have to, you can put, you know, at the opportune time, you can get orders put in to address things like special occasions and birthdays and family traditions or reunions that you know are gonna happen routinely and it’s best to put those in any court orders you have that pop up during the divorce or in the decree.

Think Ahead for Cooperative Custody Arrangements

Things of that nature happen a lot, it’s better to think about them sooner than later and it’s good to try to be flexible on both sides so that when it’s your turn, hey, she’ll work with you hopefully. So I hope this helps, review the site tulsa.dads.law, let us know if you have any questions.