Reaching Out Through Friends: Not a Solution
So, your wife or girlfriend has gotten an emergency protective order against you, and you’re thinking about calling her friend or a mutual friend to talk about how to get back together. Is this a good idea? Should you do it?
Hi, I’m Tulsa protective order defense attorney Clint Hastings. I practice here in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I focus on fathers’ rights, and I’ve been practicing for about 25 years.
Why Calling Her Friend is a Bad Idea
This idea is one of the worst I’ve heard over the years. It is absolutely a terrible idea. Attempting to have contact through a friend, family member, or anyone else counts as a violation of the protective order. You cannot do that.
The only safe route is to hire an attorney. If she has an attorney, your lawyer can talk to hers. If she doesn’t, I still won’t reach out directly on your behalf just to “talk about getting back together” or dropping the protective order, because that can easily be misinterpreted as harassment or aggression. You may not think she truly feels afraid, but you don’t know—and the law takes her stated fear seriously.
The Right Approach
The right approach is to sit tight, talk to your lawyer, and make a plan to defend against the protective order. Sometimes, when you show up for the first hearing, there’s an opportunity for your attorney to talk with her, with the court’s knowledge, to see if settlement negotiations are possible. That’s the proper time and place—not through back channels.
To be clear: if you text a friend and say, “Please tell her I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again, we need to work this out for the kids,” that will land you in jail. It’s a violation of the protective order, period. Don’t do it.
Contact Us for Help
Give us a call about this or similar issues, and we’ll be glad to help you.
If you are facing a protective order issue, do not hesitate to reach out to us for a consultation. Contact Tulsa men’s divorce attorney Clint Hastings at 918-962-0900 for a low-cost consultation to discuss your legal options.
