Effective Communication Strategies during a Family Law Case

Hello, my name is Brian L. Jackson. I’m a Tulsa father’s rights attorney here at Dads.Law where fathers are not disposable. We are on location here along the Arkansas River and you can see the PSO plant behind me. I’m here with my daughter and my dog who are here just to remind us of why we do what we do.

So we talked a little bit about device security and some of the law that applies if someone were to intrude on your device. I want to talk a little bit about another issue that I see from time to time. Communicating with the ex. Oklahoma, under the current law, under Title 43, starts from an assumption that the child’s best interests are served by joint custody. And joint custody in non-legalese means you’re co-parenting with the other parent. So you can safely assume that if there’s nothing seriously wrong with the other person and there’s nothing seriously wrong with you, you’re going to be doing some kind of a co-parenting arrangement. And that means you guys got to communicate.

Unfortunately, if you’re in family court, odds are pretty solid that you and she maybe don’t get along so well. And this opens up a whole can of worms as far as dealing with that other parent as a business unit. So how do you deal with the other parent as a business unit and then still protect your interests?

The Importance of Documented Communication

A good piece of advice I give a lot of clients is text messages. It’s a great way to communicate. And the text message is a written record of the communication. Now, there is one downside to text messages. They come with a delete button. So it’s incumbent upon you that you don’t delete text messages and don’t cherry pack. Because the value of the message is really only as good as the completeness of the message. And obviously, too, it’s a double-edged sword. Because it is on the record. It’s a document of what you said. So if you say something stupid or disrespectful or whatever, it’s on the record. And you can assume it’s the same as if you stood up and said that in court.

Now, another option that I favor in really high conflict cases that’s better than the text messages because you can’t tamper with the record are parenting apps. Parenting apps have a messaging feature built in. Many of them do. And it’s completely tamper-proof. Whatever y’all say is going to be on the record and you can’t delete it. And I can tell you I had a trial a couple of years ago where one of those apps, the record on there, absolutely saved my client’s bacon when he was accused of being constantly abusive to the other party. And we were able to produce about six months worth of these messages. And that was an impressive sight, let me tell you, because it was about as fat as a Manhattan phone book. But of them communicating professionally. And we won the case.

Consider Using a Parenting App for High Conflict Situations

I would submit that if you are in a high conflict situation, especially if you have one of those exes that likes to make up shit, then you should consider a parenting app. They’re not very expensive and it creates a complete record. And use that as your communication go-to.

Contact Us for a Low-cost Strategy Session

If you have questions about that or you’re dealing with an ordinary actor in the middle of a custody dispute, I would suggest you need a good lawyer. And one place you can find a good lawyer is at Dads.Law where fathers are not disposed of it.