It Can if You Don’t Use Good Judgment
Video Transcribed: My name is Brian Jackson, and I am an attorney for men in Tulsa. Now, let’s assume that you’re out of the relationship with baby mommy. You’re divorced from your ex, or you’ve broken it off with the baby mama, or however, that relationship ends. And let’s say that you’ve already gone through the divorce and the paternity. You have rights. You’re either custodial, you have joint custody, or you have some kind of a visitational schedule and you want to go out and date. What should you keep in mind?
Can that affect your rights to your kid? Well, the answer is it can, if you don’t use good judgment. The main thing to keep in mind is that you should be careful about the types of individuals you get involved with and the character of individuals you get involved with. Obvious things to avoid, anyone with a criminal history, especially if they have felonies, you probably want to stay away. Even if it’s ancient history, I will come right out and say, I believe people are capable of reformation and cleaning up their act.
And just because they have criminal history doesn’t mean that they’re doing bad things now. However, if you’re talking about somebody with felonies or somebody with recent criminal history, even if they swear up and down they’re going to clean up and stop it, that history can bite you in the ass, to be blunt.
If you have children that you want rights to see, rights to have custody of, rights to have joint custody of, the fact that your prospective partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, or whatever, has a criminal history, can potentially add up to a motion to modify under the given standard, particularly with certain types of criminal history. For example, again, domestic violence, drugs, anything sexual, anything violent, and any kind of a felony could potentially bite you in the ass and up to a motion to modify.
So these are people to avoid. Another example of people to avoid is anyone with an active substance abuse problem or active and untreated mental health issues. Substance abuse is relevant and is considered under Title 43. It’s a mandatory consideration.
Although, mental health by itself is not. If you’re talking about someone who is untreated and has a serious mental health problem, that can and will bite you in the ass if that’s someone that you are living with or who might have contact with your children. Even if they don’t, it still can be seen by a court as exercising poor judgment on your part.
Other things to be aware of, if the individual has children and those children are not in their care, you want to know why. And I mean, you really want to know why. And the reason is, is if they have children that are in DHS custody, that’s someone you probably don’t want to get in a relationship with. If they have children, where they’re on supervised visitation for some reason, again, this is probably not somebody you want to get involved with.
Because again, these are circumstances that could result in an inference of child abuse, child neglect, failure to protect, those types of situations, where that individual could be found to be unfit as a parental figure, and it could negatively impact you. And it is relevant to consideration again, a motion to modify under the given standard.
Some other things that you probably want to be aware of that… Well, another thing that you definitely want to pay attention to is the history of domestic violence. Even if they’ve never been criminally charged for it. If they have protective orders out against them, again, no Bueno, stay away from that person.
There is plenty of other fish in the sea. And that includes, by the way, protective orders that are entered on weak ass allegations. If it’s a final protective order, or if there’s something pending… If there’s something pending, I would not get in a relationship with that person until after they get it dismissed. And even then, I would be careful. If it’s a final protective order, I think you stay away because their problems could become your problems and resolve them. And again, in a motion to modify that could potentially meet that given standard.
Some other situations that are potentially problematic that may not initially appear so, I think it’s worth being careful of being wary of as men, and there’s no nice way to say this. If you get with a female who has a long history of bad relationships by her own reporting, in other words, every guy she’s ever been with is an asshole or a douche, particularly if there is a string of protective orders behind her, where she is the petitioner, this is probably someone to avoid, and here’s why.
There are usually two sides to a breakup or a divorce. And typically if you have someone who it’s always someone else’s fault, then this is somebody who potentially could bring you problems. That’s a situation where you are more at a higher risk of facing some kind of a criminal allegation or some kind of a BS protective order.
So if you want to avoid that situation erupting in the first place, if you have someone with a long string of bad relationships, stay away, that should be a red flag, particularly if they’re the plaintiff in a lot of protective orders. I would also very strongly suggest you avoid getting involved with anybody who is involved in active family law litigation of their own, because there’s again, the possibility of some kind of allegations getting slung around back and forth, that could then implicate you and your children.
Particularly if, for example, she’s accused of being on drugs or she’s accused of child abuse, or she’s accused of domestic violence. Because if her family court judge makes a finding that any of those things happen or might’ve happened, guess who’s going to get drug into court on a motion to modify?
The other reason to avoid that situation, your children notwithstanding, is not getting summoned into court as a witness. I can tell you, I routinely do summon paramours and boyfriends and girlfriends into court in divorce proceedings, if they have something useful to say, or I think they might have something useful to say, I’ll do it. And I’m not the only attorney who does that. So another good reason to stay away from that situation is not getting drugs into her drama.
One line last major red flag that I would warn you guys about is if you’re talking about somebody who has serious maturity issues. And again, this goes back to what I was saying before about red flags that could wind up where you might be facing a bullshit protective order. If she’s really immature, has mommy daddy issues, or otherwise does not cope well with life’s difficulties, this is probably someone who might be at a higher risk for getting a frivolous protective order. So again, I would suggest staying away from that person.
They also are probably at a higher risk for doing something inappropriate with your kids. What I mean by that is neglect or abuse or some kind of other situation that could result in a problem for you and end with a motion to modify under the given standard. So those are all types of people to try to steer clear of if you’re dating. If you are looking for a Men’s Child Custody Lawyer in Tulsa Ok, you should go to dads.law.
