Navigating Differing Spousal Offers with Diplomacy
Should you forcefully say no to your wife’s offers, counteroffers, or requests — or should you do this instead?
Hi, I’m Tulsa Dads.Law attorney Clint Hastings. I practice here in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I focus on father’s rights, and this is my 25th year of practice.
The Scenario
What I’m getting at here is a strategy about how you respond to things — and whether you might be shooting yourself in the foot by doing the exact opposite of what you should be doing.
Here’s the scenario:
Let’s say your wife says, “Hey, I want you to agree to take the kids to school every Wednesday because I can’t, due to my work schedule.”
Approach for Better Communication
Now, let’s say you absolutely don’t want to do that. You already do plenty of other things, and this would be a big burden. So should you say, “No. No way. Not going to do it”? You might think that being forceful and shutting her down will make her give up on it, right?
Well, that’s probably not true. Why? Because she’s going to think you’re doing it out of spite, anger, or stubbornness — that you’re being forceful just to be difficult. In her mind, you’re controlling her like you always do.
Alternative Response
That’s what’s going through her head. So that kind of reaction doesn’t help you at all. It just makes the divorce more contentious and reinforces her reasons for wanting it in the first place (if she’s the one who filed).
So what should you do instead?
You can say something like, “Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe. Let me think about that and get back to you.”
Call Us For a Consultation
Let me know if you need a consultation on any type of family law situation. Contact Tulsa men’s divorce attorney Clint Hastings at (918) 962-0900 for a low-cost consultation and we’ll be glad to discuss it with you.
