Navigating The Delicate Decision of Service Notification
Hi, I’m Tulsa Dads.Law attorney Clint Hastings. I practice here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I focus on fathers’ rights. I get this question from almost every client who’s filing for divorce first: Should I tell my spouse they’re about to be served?
Communication is Key
And my answer is: I don’t know—you tell me. You know this person better than I do. You know what conversations you’ve had and where your relationship stands right now. I’m happy to talk it through with you, but ultimately, it’s going to come down to your best judgment.
Some couples have already talked about divorce, and both parties know it’s coming. In those cases, it might be easy—and even courteous—to say, “Hey, just so you know, I filed, and you’re going to be served.”
Handling Emotions
If you do choose to give them a heads-up, I often recommend saying something like, “I filed for divorce, and you’ll be served soon. But I’d prefer not to discuss anything about it right now. Let’s wait until you’ve spoken to your attorney or until your attorney talks to mine.”
Because emotions are raw when someone is served. They might get upset, defensive, or panicked. They may immediately want to talk about terms—asking what happens to the house, the car, or the kids.
Consultation
These are important decisions, and we’re here to help guide you through them. I hope this helps. Check out the rest of our videos on this topic. And if you have questions, please give us a call—we’d be glad to talk with you about your divorce and schedule a consultation. Call (918) 962-0900 for support with our experienced Tulsa divorce attorney, Clint Hastings.
