Here Are Tips on How to Manage Yourself during the Situation
Video Transcribed: So let’s talk about avoiding problems during a custody exchange. My name is Brian L. Jackson. I am a Tulsa dad’s rights lawyer here at Dads.Law where fathers are not disposable.
I want to talk to you guys today about how you can minimize the chance of a serious problem occurring during a custody exchange. Some of these are pretty common sense things. The first thing I would suggest is if you are in a high conflict situation with your ex, meet somewhere public where there is witnesses. The chances of something really messed up happening in a public place are lower. Most people don’t want to act out in public, so that tends to make the risk lower. Additionally, if something does happen, there will be other witnesses. Now that’s a double-edged sword because just bluntly, guys, you are the one that creates a problem in a public place, there will be witnesses that will back her up if she files an emergency or a protective order or both.
So just be aware, it’s a double-edged sword. But a public meeting place is a good idea and someplace that’s halfway between where you guys live. So it’s not going to be a bone of contention about who has to drive further. Another tip I can give you about avoiding problems at custody exchange. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend or a significant other or whatever, leave them at home. Do not bring them to custody exchange with you. You want to push your ex’s buttons really fast, show up with a new girl and watch the fireworks fly. Seriously, I can understand if your significant other wants to be involved and want to be supportive of you, but custody exchange is not the place to have them. It can already be a tense situation, especially in a high-conflict arrangement. And having the significant other there just adds gasoline to the fire. So leave them at home.
This one’s a common sense one, but don’t show up under the influence of anything among other things that could lead to you being denied your visit on the grounds that you’re impaired and not safe to try. But also, any time you’re on anything that’s not prescribed to you, it can make an already potentially volatile situation that much worse because your judgment’s been impaired. So it’s a common sense thing, but be sober. Another thing I can tell you, however, she’s behaving, you need to bite your tongue. And what I mean by that is just because she’s being an ass doesn’t mean you have to be an ass in return. You can be the adult in the room and don’t rise to the bait no matter what she says to you.
Another common sense one I can think of, and I would hope you guys are smarter than this but probably worth saying, don’t show up with a weapon on you visibly. That’s stupid. If you are someone who goes armed that’s fine to go armed anywhere else. But if you know you’re in a high-conflict situation with the ex, I would very strongly urge you to leave the gun in the car, and keep it out of sight. Don’t have it on your person when you go to get the kids, you do not want this to turn into some kind of charge for assault with a deadly weapon or something like that. So guys, use your brains.
One other thing I can say as a final pointer to avoid problems with visitation exchange, this is not a good place to discuss personal issues between you and the ex. If there’s something that needs to get settled or there’s some business that y’all are disagreeing about, don’t try to address it at the custody exchange. The proper way to address that if you have counsel and it’s a heated situation, deal with it through your counsel. Yes, that costs money, I understand that. But you know what also costs money? Having to deal with a protective order, having to deal with an emergency. Having to deal with a criminal charge. So be smart guys. That’s not the place to hash out differences between you and your ex.
Now if you have any questions about any of those things, I would encourage you guys to speak with an Oklahoma child custody attorney at Dads.Law, where fathers are not disposable.