The Golden Rule Is to Leave

Video Transcribed: My name is Brian L. Jackson and I’m an Oklahoma father’s rights attorney. And today I want to talk about a sensitive subject. What should you do if you get caught cheating on your children’s mother? She’s your wife, she’s your girlfriend, whatever. And she’s pissed, really pissed. What should you do?

Well, the first thing I would suggest is if she’s really mad at you because of something you did, get out of that situation, leave immediately. Go stay in a hotel, go stay with a friend, getaway and get away immediately before the situation escalates. Do not get in an argument with her. Don’t try to rationalize.

If she’s fixing to lose her temper, leave before it explodes. This is one of those situations that can get out of control quickly. People get very emotional, any time there’s been infidelity. And it can easily go from a shouting match to something far worse, where you end up with a protective order or worse, getting hold off in cuffs. So the golden rule is, leave.

The next thing I would suggest too is as soon as you possibly can, you want to get out ahead of that to protect your rights to your kids. So if you’re married to her and it’s that kind of a situation where it’s an explosive breakup over infidelity, then get a lawyer, get out ahead of it, get something filed first. You get to the courthouse first, and you get her served. And you same thing goes, file it. File it fast.

Now, I would also strongly suggest if you need to communicate with her for any reason, or you find the burning need to apologize to her, whatever, do it in writing. Do it by text message or by email or something where you can preserve a written record of what was said. And be careful what you say, because what you don’t want, there are women out there who take the attitude that if you cheat on them, they have the right to take your kids away from you forever and ever.

And you don’t want to say anything in any message you might send to her that is going to potentially give her ammunition to take to law enforcement or to take you into protective order court. Order for that matter to take you into family court, to try to deny you access to your kids.

And I wouldn’t necessarily recommend you admit to her in writing that you cheated on her either. I would suggest if you need to communicate with her in writing, it ought to be about, “Hey, when can I see my kids?”

That would be my advice. I think if you know it’s that kind of a situation you’re caught and she’s pissed, you probably want to assume the relationship’s over and deal with it accordingly. Rather than trying to patch things up and risk that whatever you send her, either being deemed harassment or stalking or else being deemed otherwise problematic and used against you. So just be careful and be aware of that. So just to recap, first of all, get out of that situation.

Do not let it escalate, do not get into a battle with her over it, trying to defend yourself or whatever. Secondly, get out ahead of it with a lawyer, as soon as you can, to get something filed, to protect your rights to your kids. And thirdly, don’t communicate with her other than in writing and only as in regards to your kids, at least until you’re sure the fire’s put out.

Those are the three big things. My name is Brian L. Jackson, I’m a dads’ rights attorney in Tulsa and we’ve been talking about what to do if you get caught cheating. Thank you very much and have a great day.