Should You Investigate Cohabitation Before Modifying Alimony?
Hi, I’m Tulsa Dads.Law attorney Clint Hastings. I practice here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I focus on fathers’ rights.
Considerations Before Hiring a Private Investigator
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve received this question—or something similar: You’re paying alimony, and you know it can be terminated if your ex-wife is cohabitating with someone. You suspect she is. Should you hire a private investigator to prove it?
Well, first let me ask you—what do you think?
It’s a tough call.
Alternatives to Hiring a Private Investigator
Hiring a private investigator can be very expensive, and you’ll usually have to pay upfront. What will they do? They’ll likely sit outside her house, maybe follow her or the suspected boyfriend. Let’s say he shows up, parks in the driveway, and stays for a week. You rack up $5,000 in fees. Have you actually proven cohabitation? Not necessarily. You’ve only shown that he was there for a week—that doesn’t prove they live together.
Could a detective dig into utility bills or shared accounts? Maybe, but they’ll face the same legal obstacles as anyone else trying to access private information.
Legal Steps to Address Suspected Cohabitation
- Hire an attorney and file a motion to modify the alimony order.
- Through the case, we issue discovery requests—under oath, we ask your ex if she’s cohabitating.
- We can also subpoena the alleged partner and depose him under oath in front of a court reporter.
- We issue subpoenas to utility companies, banks, or any other sources that may confirm joint living arrangements.
Contact Us for a Consultation
You just need a good faith suspicion that cohabitation is happening and being concealed. But keep in mind—if this turns into a fishing expedition with no real basis, it can become very costly, and the other side may ask the judge to order you to pay their legal fees for having to deal with a baseless claim.
So, be careful—but don’t do nothing either.
If you have questions about this or any other family law matter—divorce, paternity, guardianship—give Tulsa alimony attorney Clint Hastings a call at 918-962-0900. We’ll be happy to schedule a consultation and help guide you through the process. Thanks.
