Alimony, Job Loss, and Legal Consequences Explained
You’re ordered to pay alimony—then you lose your job and she says “Don’t worry about it.” What happens next? Hi, I’m Tulsa Dads.Law attorney Clint Hastings. I practice here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I focus on fathers’ rights. I’ve been doing this for about 25 years now, and I’ve seen this scenario come up quite a bit.
It usually goes something like this: You’re ordered to pay your ex-wife alimony. Then you lose your job. She says, “Hey, don’t worry about it. Just wait until you get a job.” So you stop making payments for a while. Eventually, you get back on your feet—but then she files an application for contempt against you. The question is: Will it stick?
The Importance of Written Agreements
Often, these types of agreements are oral, or maybe sent via text, and there’s confusion about what was really meant. Did she mean, “Don’t ever worry about paying me for that time period,” or did she mean, “Don’t pay me right now, but catch up later”?
Here’s the golden rule in family law—whether it’s divorce, paternity, or guardianship: Never rely on an oral agreement with your ex. It means nothing legally. Even a text might not waive your alimony obligation.
Defending Against Contempt Orders
Now, if you do have a text in writing where she says something like, “Don’t worry about it for now,” that may help defend against contempt—which is when the court punishes you (through fines or even jail) for willfully violating its order.
Would you actually go to jail for this? Probably not, especially in a case like this—but historically in Oklahoma, it has happened. A written message like a text could show the judge that you didn’t willfully violate the order, that you believed you had an agreement. That may keep you out of contempt—but it won’t erase the debt. You may still owe the unpaid alimony, and the court could enter a judgment against you with a payment plan to catch up.
Get Legal Help Today
Bottom line: Never, ever rely on an oral agreement when it comes to court-ordered obligations. If you have questions about this or any other family law matter, give Tulsa alimony attorney Clint Hastings a call at 918-962-0900. We’d be happy to consult with you. Thanks.