Introduction

Hi, I’m Brian L. Jackson. I’m a fathers’ rights lawyer in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We’re going to talk today about protective orders and I have a guest with me today. This is my daughter, Danielle. This is a reminder of why we become dads. This is why we do what we do here at Dads.law because I’m a dad too and I love my daughter and I know you guys all love your kids.

Avoiding Protective Orders

Talking about protective orders, I’m going to do a series of videos where I give you all of the ins and outs of protective orders and things to be aware of. To start with, I want to talk to you guys about trying to avoid the protective order in the first place.

A couple of pointers about situations that have the potential to devolve into a protective order quickly. Other than if you are doing things where you legitimately deserve to get a protective order, one of the really high-risk situations is if you’re headed into custody litigation, particularly like on an initial filing of a divorce or a paternity. The reality is that it is well known amongst folks in general that you can use a PO to shortcut getting custody and gaining an advantage in court.

It is not intended that way, but it is a reality that if you can successfully get one, it puts the other party behind the eight ball on several levels. So one thing to be aware of is if you know you’re about to go to court, to family court on a custody issue, then you really need to be very, very careful how you interact with the other parent.

Interacting Safely

So for example, one thing I would say is don’t allow yourself to be in a situation where you’re alone with that person if you can help it. Try to communicate in writing instead of by telephone or in person. Do not let them bait you into an argument. This is a big one. If that argument escalates in any way, all she has to do is say you threatened her, and if there isn’t some objective evidence to contradict that, you’re screwed.

You’re going to at least get the emergency. Now you may be able to beat it later in court, but one of the problems with that is that if she successfully gets the emergency, you’re already behind the eight ball even if you ultimately beat it. That will give her at a minimum 30 to 60 days of pretty much exclusive custody of your child while you deal with the PO. So you want to avoid that if at all possible.

Also, even if she’s being physically aggressive with you, your best bet in that situation is to get out of it. Do not retaliate because the reality is if you all end up in a physical altercation, you will be the one that’ll get… You’re more likely to get the PO than she is, and you’re also the one that’s more likely to get criminally charged. So for those reasons, I would say your best bet is don’t get sucked into that. If you can get out of the situation, get out of the situation and avoid it in the first place.

Dealing with Conflict

Deal with her in writing and be professional. I don’t care what she says to you. You don’t use profanity. You don’t get nasty. You maintain professionalism, and you don’t make threats, not even legal threats because those can easily be misconstrued into, oh, he threatened my safety. Also threats about taking the child away or whatever, don’t do that. Even if you mean it in a legal context, it’s a really, really bad idea, and it can be easily twisted into you threatened to kidnap the kid. So for any of those types of things, just avoid it. Deal with your problems in court.

If she’s not letting you see the kid, deal with it in court. Don’t be calling her and threatening her or blowing up her phone or whatever. Get a lawyer. Deal with it in court. With that in mind, if you are headed into custody litigation and you know it, you need a good lawyer.

Low-cost Strategy Session

One place you can find a good protective order defense attorney in Oklahoma is at Dads.Law where fathers are not disposable. We offer a initial consultation where we can discuss your case and provide guidance on how to navigate the complexities of child custody litigations.